If The Baby’s Ugly, Call It Ugly

Reality Wins. Every Time.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned in the military came early in my career—before I had any real rank, before I had done anything impressive. We were prepping our equipment for a training exercise that we were eager to do really well at. We wanted to prove ourselves. So we told our training officer we were good to go.

He checked our gear and found all kinds of mistakes—basic stuff we should’ve caught. It was humbling.

We wanted to argue. We wanted to explain. We wanted the opportunity more than we wanted to face the facts. But he stopped us and said something I’ll never forget:

“If the baby’s ugly, call it ugly.”

It stuck with me. Because in high-stakes environments—combat, business, leadership, life—dealing with reality is non-negotiable. What you wish were true doesn’t matter. What you intended doesn’t matter. What matters is what’s actually in front of you.

If you're not willing to tell the truth about the current state—no matter how uncomfortable—you will make decisions based on fantasy instead of fact.

That moment taught me to lead with brutal clarity. To look at the data, the results, the feedback—and tell the truth. Not to punish, but to improve. To make progress. To succeed.

And it’s a principle I carry into every coaching and consulting engagement. Because pretending the baby is beautiful when it’s not? That’s how people get hurt. That’s how businesses stall. That’s how teams lose trust.

The fastest way forward is always through the truth.